Comments on: Cavalcade of Turkeys

By: bernarda

bernarda — Thu, 30 Nov 2006 11:10:52 +0000

Two of my favorite turkeys are:

“Young and Dumb” by the Rubber City Rebels(who also have “I wanna pierce my brain”;

“Kung Foo Fighting” by Busstop.

By: Supernova

Supernova — Thu, 30 Nov 2006 07:28:55 +0000

I gotta agree with JoAnne about “Gonna Buy Me a Dog.” I can’t count the number of times I rewound it on tape, trying to catch every last syllable.

“I thinkI’mgonnabuymeadog, yes sir, I’m gonna buy me a dog, if IwaslookinforawordtodescribewhatI’mgonnabuy, I think DOG would be the word.” “Would it be dog?” “It would be dog.” “Definitely dog.” “It would come springing from my lips. Dog.”

Good times!

By: spyder

spyder — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 21:24:50 +0000

How can there not be any contributions from the various pop industry megastars on these sorts of lists?? Pretty much anything pushed out of Jive records qualifies, as does most of Def Jam and DeathRow. It if is in rotation on the various versions of MTV, VH, CMT, etc., then it most likely is a classic turkey.

By: Henry Holland

Henry Holland — Wed, 29 Nov 2006 04:07:15 +0000

Turning Japanese is the second best song about masturbation ever written, The Who’s Pictures of Lily being tops, of course.

Stupid Fogheads.

By: PK

PK — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 20:41:55 +0000

Hi Travis,

Thanks for that link, there are many other cool songs there too!

By: Travis Rector

Travis Rector — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 17:52:50 +0000

PK,

The original version of “Why does the sun shine?” was done by Tom Glazer on an album titled “Space Songs.” You can hear the original at:

http://www.acme.com/jef/singing_science/

By: NoJoy

NoJoy — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 17:27:16 +0000

Don’t dis the Waitresses!

My local radio station has started playing “Schnappi, Das Kleine Krokodil” every Tuesday morning, perfectly timed so it’s playing when I drive my kids to school. Try getting that out of your head, or worse, getting it out of the head of an eight-year-old who is supposed to be settling down for class!

By: Burrow

Burrow — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 17:21:03 +0000

Dang I was just going to post that. Many people seem to not know that, even though I think the original song was in Mona Lisa’s Smile. (Pretty sure.)

By: Blake Stacey

Blake Stacey — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 16:27:19 +0000

The tune for “Istanbul (Not Constantinople)” comes originally from “Puttin’ on the Ritz” (1929) by Irving Berlin, except for the “Even old New York, was once New Amsterdam” part, whose melody is that old snake-charmer song sometimes known as “The Streets of Cairo”. With lyrics by Jimmy Kennedy and music by Nat Simon, “Istanbul” peaked at #10 on the 1953 Billboard charts, performed by The Four Lads.

By: Charon

Charon — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 05:40:31 +0000

TMBG didn’t even write Istanbul (I discovered this when my mom heard me playing the song - and mentioned that she remembered it from the 50’s). And it makes perfect sense compared to some of their other songs (Particle Man? Not a turkey, but joyously nonsensical).

As for turkeys… perhaps Da Funk by Daft Punk. But really, it seems all electronica-club-house music is repetitive. I suppose it’s more interesting on E.

By: mary

mary — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 02:27:51 +0000

echoing warm fuzzies for istanbul (not constantinople). that song makes perfect logical sense, and all of the words are true. if you’ve a date in constantinople, she *will* be waiting in istanbul.

how did kfog ever miss *i know what boys like,* by the freaking *waitresses*?

By: chemicalscum

chemicalscum — Tue, 28 Nov 2006 00:24:03 +0000

I second Elliot’s opinion on the Trashmen’s â€œSurfin Birdâ€, as I desperately load Chumbawamba - Tubthumping CD into the drive. ” I thought that music matters but does it - bollocks!”. Well I guess that Chumbawamba have just about summed it up.

By: Elliot

Elliot — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 22:11:40 +0000

hey just because they are too dense to get the deep philosophical meaning of “Surfin Bird” is no reason to trash the song

By: Sean

Sean — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 19:31:11 +0000

Does Rhapsody in Blue count? After spending too many hours in Terminal One at O’Hare, I can’t so much as see a United aircraft without that tune lodging itself in my brain.

By: Allyson

Allyson — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 15:34:54 +0000

Do They Know It’s Christmas by Band Aid.

The part where they sing, “Tonight thank god it’s them, instead of you,” always cracks me up. Oh, and “there won’t be snow in Africa this Christmastime.”

Still, I sing to it in the car.

By: Jennifer Ouellette

Jennifer Ouellette — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 15:28:53 +0000

I’m with Blake and PK on being pro They Might Be Giants. Besides, just because a song is a bit silly, lyrically, doesn’t make it a turkey, especially if the silliness is deliberate. And hey, some of the tunes are quite catchy. “Tubthumping” was a favorite among the guys in my jujitsu dojo (we got knocked down and had to get back up again a LOT, even if it wasn’t due to excessive drinking).

And is Toni Basil’s “Mickey” the one that has the lines “Oh Mickey, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind”? If so, that’s not a turkey either. It was an anthem from my youth.

Among the many tunes missing would be things like “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)” by Dead or Alive — truly one of the most inane and turkey-worthy tunes ever written. I’m sure there’s more, but it’s early and I haven’t had any caffeine as yet….

By: Lee Sawyer

Lee Sawyer — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 14:57:32 +0000

Clarence Henry was a great New Orleans pianist and singer. It is a shame that people just remember him for this one song (which, by the way, I kind of like…) A lot of performers from that era would have a novelty song in their repertoire that built on a particular “hook”, in Henry’s case his characteristic croak.

By: Blake Stacey

Blake Stacey — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 14:55:54 +0000

Yeah, I’m with PK on this one. On my aesthetic scale (which is obviously in accord with the true scale of the Cosmos) “Istanbul (Not Constantinople)” is a straight-up good song. I am deeply surprised that anything by They Might Be Giants gets on this list while, say, Styx’s “Mr. Roboto” or Aqua’s “Barbie Girl” and “Lollipop” get left off. Scandalous.

By: PutVote.com

PutVote.com — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 11:43:21 +0000

Cavalcade of Turkeys

A KFOG turkey is a song that is truly stupid, you know better and yet you actually think itâ€™s a good song. Despite your best efforts, you end up humming it in the car. Generally the instrumentation is decent, but the lyrics are a problem. Here is this

By: PK

PK — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 09:59:06 +0000

Oh, I wouldn’t have put They might be giants up there. I think “Istanbul” is a great song! And this crowd here will probably also appreciate their “Why does the sun shine?” Here are the lyrics:

The sun is a mass of incandescent gas
A gigantic nuclear furnace
Where Hydrogen is built into Helium
At a temperature of millions of degrees

The sun is hot, the sun is not
A place where we could live
But here on Earth there’d be no life
Without the light it gives

We need its light, we need its heat
The sun light that we seek
The sun light comes from our own sun’s
Atomic energy

The sun is a mass of incandescent gas
A gigantic nuclear furnace
Where Hydrogen is built into Helium
At a temperature of millions of degrees

The sun is hot…

The sun is so hot that everything on it is a gas
Aluminum, Copper, Iron, and many others
The sun is large…
If the sun were hollow, a million Earth’s would fit inside
And yet, it is only a middle size star
The sun is far away…

About 93,000,000 miles away
And that’s why it looks so small
But even when it’s out of sight
The sun shines night and day

We need its heat, we need its light
The sun light that we seek
The sun light comes from our own sun’s
Atomic energy

Scientists have found that the sun is a huge atom smashing machine
The heat and light of the sun are caused by nuclear reactions between
Hydrogen, Nitrogen, Carbon, and Helium

The sun is a mass of incandescent gas
A gigantic nuclear furnace
Where Hydrogen is built into Helium
At a temperature of millions of degrees