A Spectacular Breakdown of the Law of Averages

« An Interactive Day in Harlem Sleepless in Louisville »

A Spectacular Breakdown of the Law of Averages

Clifford at 7:53 am, March 23rd, 2006

So I was on a flight from LA to Chicago a short while ago. The usual thing happened, at first: I was on the plane early, and watching my fellow passengers get on the plane and go by, finding their seats. There’s that situation that happens on all forms of public transport that you’ll all recognize: You’re secretly hoping that you’ll sit next to a beautiful and interesting woman (or man, depending upon your preferences), but instead, she never shows up. Instead, that guy (and it’s always that same guy isn’t it!!?) who’s a bit too large for the seat, and who leaks into yours even though he’s supposed to be in the seat next to you. (This happens on buses, trains, planes, whereever. Always that same guy.)

So, yes, this happened. Fine, I was used to it. But then something unexpected happened. The guy next to him (on the other side) asked him if he’d mind swapping seats with his friend in another seat so that they could sit together, and he agreed. And guess what? The friend turned out to be a striking young French woman with cute almost elfin features. This turn around was quite a shock to me.

Anyway, not being one for harrassing people just because they’re attractive, I carried on with my business of getting ready for the flight, and then started reading some sheets of paper, which happened to be covered in equations and diagrams. My usual airplane reading, I must report. (Often it is the best place to think about research… no distractions…. no phones, email, blog, students, colleagues…etc. They’re going to spoil that all soon by the way.)

Well, anyway, a while into reading, my striking neighbour spoke up with -of course- the perfect French accent to match, and said “Er, excuse me, are you a teacher of Mathematics?”. I explained that indeed I teach and Mathematics is part of what I teach, alongside Physics….etc. “Er, at a University or School?”. University.

She brightened up considerably, and explained that she loved Mathematics and Physics and studied them for a while at University.

So at that point I was thinking that the Law of Averages had spectacularly broken down today on two counts……. One: Beautiful and interesting women never end up sitting next to me in such situations; Two: People who learn what I do never say that they love it and have studied it, but usually trot out the “I was never good at physics/maths at school” line…..

So having been given license to ask at least two questions in return, I asked where she studied these things. Paris VI. And then I asked what her line of work is now.

She wanted to do something different, and so even though she loves physics and mathematics, she decided to leave France and…..join the circus.

Yes, you read that right. She is a circus performer. She is in fact an acrobat.

So….Law of Averages breakdown number three: How many times do you actually meet someone who ran away to join the circus?!

-cvj

P.S. Nope, I did not propose marriage on the spot. Look, can you imagine the employment two-body problem involved with one person a theoretical physicist and the other a trapeze artist? Oh, and yes, another reason was her boyfriend sitting on the other side of her. It was a red-eye flight, so I gave her my cough sweets (she had a cold) and I turned over and went to sleep.

Academia, Humor, Personal
[digg] | [reddit] | [stumbleupon] | [slashdot] | [del.icio.us]

29 Comments on “A Spectacular Breakdown of the Law of Averages” rss feed

John Doe on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 8:48 am

Is the law of averages really braking down? What you described happens to me all the time… not… but indeed it happened once, and with striking similarities.
I was on a TGV on my way to Paris to give a talk when a striking woman takes a seat next to me, as I open my laptop to rework one last slide (something to do with TE cross-correlation) she asks me about my line of work, I apologize for my very pour French and I attempt an explanation at which she replies in practically perfect English. It turned out she was from Lebanon, working in advertising, we had a wonderful few hours conversation. As we said goodbye we exchanged email addressees, and here were the similarities became creepy: a year later I received an email telling me that she moved to Canada where she was working PR for Cirque du Soleil.
adam on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 9:16 am

And now, after all these years, the Gallic “acrobats stalk physicists across the world” plot has been exposed.

The cunning devils. Be alert!
Kieran on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 9:17 am

Check to see if your wallet and credit cards are still where they should be. Maybe also your kidneys. Just a suggestion.
adam on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 9:20 am

Good point on the kidneys. Clifford’s so cool that he is used to awaking surrounded by ice, so he could have missed out on the odd missing organ.
adam on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 10:12 am

It’s clear that what we have uncovered here is a Gallic Circus Plot to construct a Superclown from stolen physicist parts.
JustAnotherInfidel on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 10:32 am

You should have at least got her phone number.
adam on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 10:51 am

Yeah, he could just have asked her boyfriend for it. If he was too shy to ask her.
Andrew on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 10:56 am

By the way, I’m always at a loss for what to say in response to the â€œI was never good at physics/maths at schoolâ€ thing. What are your ideas? Ideally, it would come across as humble and charming, while at the same not completely dispelling any mystique I might have picked up by saying I study math and physics.
adam on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 11:04 am

Tell them it’s not as difficult as being beautiful must be.

Sure, you’ll crash and burn, but then, you’re going to anyhow. Best to go down laden with cheese.
Jeff Hodges on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 11:24 am

Andrew: I’ve crafted a half-way decent response to the Physics face.
Supernova on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 12:57 pm

I have somewhat the opposite problem: people tend to be overly excited when they find out I’m an astronomer, often to the point of ignoring or even subtly denigrating other people in the conversation. My husband calls it the “That’s nice” effect, in reference to all the times that someone we’ve just met, after waxing poetic about how much they loved astronomy as a kid, has asked him what he does and, on hearing “rhetoric” has responded, “Oh, that’s… nice…” (once even, “It’s good that someone’s doing that”).

What bothers me even more is the people who think that those of us who study physics/astronomy must be inscrutable geniuses far beyond the comprehension of most mere mortals. Last time I went to DC for an NSF review panel, I stayed in a very nice B&B run by a wonderful friendly woman who nonetheless let me eat breakfast every morning in silent solitude because (I eventually discovered) she figured I’d rather be left alone with my grand thoughts than socialize with someone like her. As someone who believes such attitudes are a big part of physics’ PR problem and largely our fault to begin with, I found this truly dismaying and obsessed for days over what I might have said or done to seem arrogant or dismissive. We have a long way to go in this culture struggle!
citrine on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 1:17 pm

Yeah, those of us in Physics/ Math have it pretty bad when it comes to answering the inevitable “what do you do”? However, I think we have it over the beleaguered souls who have dedicated a significant portion of their lives to pursuits such as ….ummmm …. Gyneacology and Proctology. Also, I wonder what kind of responses Morticians get when they announce their line of work?
Plato on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 3:17 pm

Mortician…..maybe just shoot the breeze and ask what kind of sabersaw he has, or any other kind of implements of the trade that he might use?

As far as genius’s go, skill’s of the trade, maybe?

“They” (is large population presented) can certainly do other things. Joanne, the drain engineering, or “painting the deck” by Clifford. Chef’s capabilities let’s not forget. Where’s the degree?

So “reverse scenario” that the lawn guy “is” actually interested in flowers and plants, then the science of the person? Naw!

The “pizza guy” and Sean always comes to mind. They/I, mean well. Have the same deeper motivaton about life?

People are no different no matter what kind of “hat” they wear? Right? Or, are they? Careful, least I show you Math/physics people are human too
adam on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 3:51 pm

This is all beside the point. If they build a Superclown, who knows what will happen? It could be the End Of The World.
Sourav on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 3:58 pm

Rare events are common.

And, I take offense to being characterized as a “leaky” airline passenger — those seats are designed for anorexic midgets from the 1970s!
Plato on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 4:25 pm

President of OWA I presume?

I never thought of it like that before adam. Scary:)

Rival to King KOng holding the beautiful girl while being shot at? Larger then life, primitive emotions kind of thing?
JustAnotherInfidel on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 4:30 pm

You could always tell people you’re a gay porn star, and then say “Nah I’m just kidding…I’m actually a theoretical physicist.” I’m just sayin…it’s worked before.
adam on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 4:33 pm

If they made it from physicist parts it could have Absence of Social Graces superpowers, for a start. Like Dick Cheney with a smiley painted face and intent on Unifying the Fields in order to achieve Total World Domination.
Elliot on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 4:42 pm

You could always say you are writing a play/screenplay about mathemeticians physicists and are doing research and you just happen to have a character that is an attractive french woman.
Clifford on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 5:18 pm

John Doe (comment #1):- In fact, they were returning to Canada (Montreal), which is where she’d moved to from France, and I assumed it was Cirque du Soleil, but did not ask. Hmmmmm, maybe they are agressively recruiting physicists indeed!

Sourav:- I’ve never met you (unless you’re that guy). I was talking about that guy, (or the collective ones I’ve encountered) and nobody else.

Adam:- “Better to go down laden with cheese….”…. LOL!

Cheers,

-cvj
Pingback from Sleepless in Louisville | Cosmic Variance on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 5:20 pm

[...] Sean « A Spectacular Breakdown of the Law of Averages [...]
Sourav on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 5:48 pm

Clifford,

Sorry if my facetiousness was not apparent. However, I am frustrated by narrow coach seating — my shoulders don’t fit.

(We have not met, but I did enjoy D-Branes.)

Best,

Sourav
Plato on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 6:03 pm

Maybe Sourav you could commet sometime on the Cerenkov radiation and what is expected from ICECUBE?

thanks
Arun on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 9:57 pm

Clifford, I think the law of averages doesn’t work in your case, whether it be in the bus or on the plane.
AstroCook on Mar 23rd, 2006 at 11:35 pm

I would leave it to you to find the non-average things in a seemingly average life, though. many people would ignore such treats. =)

I just remember the story you told about the young girl on the bus. Most people might just ignore that sort of thing! Props. =)
Clifford on Mar 24th, 2006 at 12:20 am

AstroCook:-

Thanks!

-cvj
Samantha on Mar 24th, 2006 at 4:26 pm

#17 This has actually happened to me. I was at a fancy dress party (hosted by my house-mate, a physicist), and was chatting to some chap in chains and asked him (politely) what he had come as. A blue movie star, he said. I said (wisely) ah, and what do you do in real life? There was an awkward silence and he said, well I’m a (gay) blue movie star. And there was nothing, nothing I could say to that. Nothing.
Brunsli on Mar 29th, 2006 at 12:38 am

Clifford, You haven’t changed. I miss your overly-analytical outlook on life.
Clifford on Mar 29th, 2006 at 12:40 am

I miss it too.

-cvj

A Spectacular Breakdown of the Law of Averages

29 Comments on “A Spectacular Breakdown of the Law of Averages” rss feed

Comments are currently closed.

Search

Contributors

Alumni and Guests

Recent Comments:

Recent Posts

Links

Meta