Physicists Don’t Golf

JoAnne at 4:44 pm, September 28th, 2005

Or if they do, they don’t admit it in public. I can’t recall a single instance of a physicist discussing their golf game.

But we are mad about baseball! In what seems to be anomously high numbers. (At least those of us raised in the US.) I’ve often speculated on the connection since baseball is a game of statistics and strategy. We’re not just mildly interested in the sport, we’re hard-core fanatics. One retired theorist in my group camped out overnight to get play-off tickets for the Oakland A’s, just in case they’d play in the post-season. He does this every year. Another guy will only score a game in pencil (once admonishing me for using ink). Another guy has a Red Sox watch and continously sports a Red Sox t-shirt. Another guy watches every Mets game on his laptop, even if he’s in Poland and it’s 3 AM. The more moderate fans simply keep track of the Giants daily box scores.

Me? I’ve been known to base travel plans on the schedule of my beloved St. Louis Cardinals. One of my favorite things is when a trip to Fermilab coincides with a Cardinals series at Wrigley Field. Today, I’ve dug out my lucky hat. I will start wearing it next Tues or Wed, depending on whether Philly or Houston wins the wildcard berth (I am hoping for Philly). I realize my mistake last year - I wore the wrong lucky hat. No wonder they froze! This year, I’ve got the real deal - the hat I wore during the ‘82 World Series. I’ve also pulled out my ‘82 World Champions t-shirt. So, you see, there is no way the Redbirds can possibly lose… Let the fun begin!

Update: As Janet pointed out in the comments - the secret is out: I can’t spell or type! We can all look forward to more “anomously” spelled words in my future posts.

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38 Comments on “Physicists Don’t Golf” rss feed

bittergradstudent on Sep 28th, 2005 at 5:15 pm

Go cards! I’m slowly preparing my significant other for the nonstop playoff watching (the explicit reason why I cede control of the TV the entire rest of the year), as well as getting my Pujols jersey ready for gameday wearing duty.

I’m sad that I didn’t get a last chance to see a game at Busch this year.
JoAnne on Sep 28th, 2005 at 5:26 pm

Bittergradstudent: Oh, Gosh! I don’t have a Pujols jersey! (I only have McGwire and Ozzie shirts.) Think that will be a jinx - should I get one pronto?

I, too, am truly sad to see Busch stadium go. I grew up in that stadium.
Dave Bacon on Sep 28th, 2005 at 5:27 pm

And don’t forget, when John Preskill won his most recent bet with Stephen Hawking, the prize was an encyclopedia….of baseball! There was some mumbling about this game called “cricket” by Hawking
bittergradstudent on Sep 28th, 2005 at 7:14 pm

JoAnne:

That’s a good question. A part of me thinks that if I had bought that Pujols jersey in the past two years, it would say “CARPENTER 29″. But being able to conjure the images of Ozzie and “go crazy, folks” is certainly plenty good mojo in my book.

And doubly good mojo, as Ozzie is finally making amends with management and tearing down the #1 for the last game at the real Busch Stadium
Richard E. on Sep 28th, 2005 at 7:58 pm

I don’t baseball much (in my experience it is *American* physicists that go in for this particular enthusiasm — and despite it having a “world series”, in most other countries baseball rates at about the same level as buzkashi), but the golf reference reminded me a conference at Asilomar in Monteray I attended a few years ago.

Half a day had been set aside for sight-seeing, and bus and local guide had been laid on. Turns out golf is a big deal around Monteray, and the poor guide launched into a series of golf anecdotes, only to be greeted with total and uncomprehending silence from a busload of astophysicists.

I have never seen so many of my colleagues look so baffled for so long
Moshe Rozali on Sep 28th, 2005 at 8:05 pm

Golf seems to be primarily the way for business types to network. Maybe the equivalent for physicists is the hike?

(and I second Richard, if you didn’t get your neurons wired correctly at youth, it’s like watching grass grow, or better still- it’s like curling…).
Aaron on Sep 28th, 2005 at 8:17 pm

Baseball, schmaseball.

It’s football season, dammit.

Even if my Niners suck.
Mark on Sep 28th, 2005 at 9:21 pm

Time to bust some stereotypes. I’m a physicist. I have become an avid golfer over the last 2 1/2 years (since my father-in-law got me involved). I play mostly with other academics. It’s a remarkably hard game, which, unlike other sports, one can’t be reasonable at in a short time, even if one is in shape and coordinated.

I’m also a real baseball fan, ever since I moved to Cleveland in 1997 and watched them reach game 7 of the world series and lose to the Marlins, who couldn’t even fill their stadium, because Jose Mesa couldn’t close properly,… (breathe Mark, breathe). The Red Sox are my second team (having spent a lot of time in Providence/Boston), so you can imagine how torn I an right now, with the Indians in a fight with them for the AL wild card, particularly after the last three difficult days.

Don’t care much for (American) football, but will watch the Pats in the superbowl, because many of my friends get together for that.

Plus, I’m not an American, so soccer is the only international sport I care about. OK, rugby as well. Both Union and League.
b grubbs on Sep 28th, 2005 at 10:42 pm

I recently gave a talk in the polymer dept. at Case Western and my host took me to see the Indians smack the Twins (and I was pulling for the Twins). We sat a little bit to the right of home plate a dozen or so rows back in the season ticket seats shared by a couple of folks in the department. Before the game starts, a guy (who I might have identified as a physicist if pressed) clambered into his seat a few rows up — I was informed that it was in fact Lawrence Krauss. He left in the 8th (though the Indians had a comfortable lead). I must say that there are also quite a few chemists who are baseball fans (esp. up here in the empire of the Red Sox)
ljs on Sep 28th, 2005 at 11:43 pm

hmmm “empire of the Red Sox”, guess who just took the lead in the AL East tonight??
Robert on Sep 29th, 2005 at 12:17 am

Yesterday, I saw a golf bag when I walked into an astronomer’s office one floor up. And one of my fellow grad students used to golf. Now, however, he is a management consultant. So, it’s seems like 1:1.

And yes, football (which you might call soccer) rules!
JoAnne on Sep 29th, 2005 at 12:29 am

Darn it! Houston has just won 2 games straight over my Cardinals…go Philles, go!!!

Mark: I always like people who buck the stereotype!
Sean on Sep 29th, 2005 at 5:35 am

Let me point out, in the confident and logic-free way characteristic of sports arguments, that baseball is for sluggish suburbanites who don’t like it when their athletic competitions are disturbed by people actually breaking a sweat. Sophisticated fans enjoy basketball and football (of whatever flavor).
Mark on Sep 29th, 2005 at 6:30 am

Those are great seats b. grubbs - I’ve sat in them when I was a postdoc at CASE.
Chad Orzel on Sep 29th, 2005 at 7:23 am

Let me point out, in the confident and logic-free way characteristic of sports arguments, that baseball is for sluggish suburbanites who donâ€™t like it when their athletic competitions are disturbed by people actually breaking a sweat.

Of course, the same could be said for golf, much of the time. Particularly when carts are involved.

I think the real determining factor here is that actually playing golf is a time-consuming enterprise that requires one to be outdoors (and thus not in the lab or at the computer). Listening to baseball is a passive enterprise, that can be done at the same time as many research activities. And baseball offers workaholic physics types the additional attraction of math, in the form of the statistical masturbation that baseball fans are so prone to.

Sophisticated fans enjoy basketball and football (of whatever flavor).

Amen!
Jeff on Sep 29th, 2005 at 8:01 am

Actually, I’m with Moshe on this one. I’ve also noticed that a large number of physicists that I know are rock climbers…
Becky on Sep 29th, 2005 at 8:43 am

Or if they do, they donâ€™t admit it in public.

I’ll admit that I golf, and that I’m not much of a baseball fan. Give me football or hockey any day. I am mad for the Pittsburgh Steelers (and for that matter, mad at them — damn you, Randel-El!).
Sam Gralla on Sep 29th, 2005 at 10:02 am

Unusually, Sean is arguing without logic, but *as* usual, he is right :).

Well, mostly. Putting American football on par with the European version is kind of like saying cave-man fireside rituals are as beautiful as ballet. But at least he properly relegates baseball to the status of something as bad as… golf :).

Incidentally, an interesting question to ask yourself is “what opinions do I have that I am absolutely sure of?”. Not that you’re sure you have the opinion, but that you’re sure you’re right, and people of the opposite opinion are wrong. Over the years, I’ve come up with two for myself:

Classical is the best kind of music.
Soccer is the best sport.

“best” means provides the most pleasure to those who enjoy it most. (this temptingly nonlinear idea could be made precise in the company of physicists, but I think everybody gets the idea. I claim I get more pleasure from Wagner’s ring than a beatles fanatic gets from his favorite album.)

The first assertion I think I can back up pretty well, just by evidence of what has been written about classical music versus what has been written about others. The second is more difficult, but aided by some general theories about good sports mixing beauty with war, I think I can pull it off. At the very least, I’m sure I’m right :).

(anybody ever used the tactic of using smiley face emoticons at the conclusion of sentences or paragraphs that might be controversial so that potentially offended parties can assume you were just joking?)
Aaron on Sep 29th, 2005 at 10:16 am

No sport where the world championship is often decided by a series of penalty shots can ever be the best sport.

I don’t care if they’re crawling around on their hands and knees, pushing the balk with their heads, I want them to keep playing the damn game.
Moshe Rozali on Sep 29th, 2005 at 11:47 am

One distinction, as meaningful as any (keeping Sean’s observation in mind) is what percentage of the time is the ball at play. Baseball and golf are in the same catergory as fishing (much less than 50% I would guess). Doesn’t really make for captivating time, unless you have good company- the game will then not distract you much from your conversation.

Granted though, in faster pace games like hockey or soccer, much of what is going on is Brownian motion, but at least something is going on…
Sean on Sep 29th, 2005 at 11:54 am

In baseball, the ball is in play for perhaps one minute of the three-hour game. If it were any more, the players would be distracted from chewing tobacco and scratching themselves.
Nk on Sep 29th, 2005 at 12:02 pm

Huh?…It’s not soccer! It’s called football damn it. Anyways, football, cricket and tennis are much much more interesting than baseball.
janet on Sep 29th, 2005 at 12:52 pm

I originally read “anomously” as “anonomously,” which gave the sentence an odd flavor. Then I figured out it was meant to be “anomolously.” And I know I said elsewhere that I don’t pick on this sort of thing; I’m not picking, I just think the idea of anonomously high numbers is funny and worth sharing.

People’s taste in sports depends on what they were brought up with, and also whether they care about whether a game is beautiful to look at, has interesting strategy, is likely to draw blood, is fun to play, is challenging to play, etc. I think it’s kind of silly to argue about which is the best sport. Depends on what you’re looking for, right?

My favorite thing to marvel at in baseball is how accurately the players throw. I mean, an outfielder dives for a ball, catches it, spins around and, without even seeming to look first, throws it smack into the glove of his teammate — who is waiting for it. Never ceases to amaze me. That element of precision is there in most sports, and it doesn’ t have much to do with the overall shape of the game, which I guess is why I am not a particular fan of any one sport.
erc on Sep 29th, 2005 at 1:11 pm

janet - I read it once as “enormously” and then as “anomalously”, which both worked. But anonomously is more entertaining, I agree.
bittergradstudent on Sep 29th, 2005 at 1:18 pm

Sean:

American football/basketball more “sophisticated” than baseball? Every baseball game is a foray into a deep web of history. I never hear much about Fran Tarkenton, Johnny Unitas, Wilt Chamberlain or Jerry West when I’m watching a football/basketball game. Every Cardials game I watch is filled with references to Gibson, Brock, Musuial, Hornsby, Smith, McGee. Maybe it’s just a St. Louis thing, though.

Every event in a game is filled with dense amounts of sublety. Neither of the two above sports really exhibit this (though soccer certainly does at times)–events are relatively straightforward–success is often a testimony to pure athleticism (though smart coaches can be the difference in am football).

And finally, I submit, Ted Williams wrote The Science of Hitting. How rediculous would a book entitled The Science of Slam Dunking or The Science of Blocking sound?
Sean on Sep 29th, 2005 at 1:46 pm

bgs, I presume this is some satirical humor on your part. “Dense amounts of subtlety”? Every professional football team has a stack of playbooks that require of order two years of practice to master. Meanwhile, baseball managers are proclaimed geniuses if they occasionally pull a double-switch in the late innings of a close game. In a spirit of magnanimity, I won’t even mention the designated-hitter rule.

Of course, if the Phillies do sneak into the playoffs and beat the Cards, you’ll be hearing from me.
chargedcurrent on Sep 29th, 2005 at 2:11 pm

cards or phillies — what’s the difference? go padres!
bittergradstudent on Sep 29th, 2005 at 3:19 pm

John Madden was once considered a brilliant coach. The same John Madden that attempts to destroy my brain via overuse of the word ‘BOOM’ every time he announces a game.

And yes, the DH is stupid, and an affront to the game, but thankfully, there’s a league that realizes it and still plays REAL baseball.
JoAnne on Sep 29th, 2005 at 4:52 pm

Oh no - the secret’s out. I can’t spell or type! We can all look forward to more “anomously” spelled words in my future posts.

Sean, no way will the Phillies win in the play-offs! The Cards have a tough time with Houston though…hope the Braves take care of them if they’re in.

And, no self-respecting baseball league would employ the DH. Period.
Scott O on Sep 29th, 2005 at 5:38 pm

Good to see Cardinals fans well-represented here. The St. Louis Cardinals are the source of all goodness in the universe, after all. It’s the only religion I have, after all.

As for football … if I wanted to watch dense bricks colliding with each other, I’d go to a construction yard. And don’t even get me started on basketball … any sport that takes as much time to play the last “30 seconds” as it takes to play the first quarter has far worse tempo problems than baseball could ever have. Scoring is so ridiculously easy that NBA players spend more time showboating than displaying skill. Eliminate time outs in the last two minutes of the game, and raise the hoop by 3 feet, and it could be an interesting game again.
Sam Gralla on Sep 29th, 2005 at 6:02 pm

Janet says its silly to argue because different people are looking for different things, such as…

“beautiful to look at, has interesting strategy, is likely to draw blood, is fun to play, is challenging to play”

So let’s see what sport a person interested in each of these things (respectively) would prefer.

beautiful: soccer
strategy: baseball
blood: football, soccer
fun: basketball, soccer
challenging: soccer, hockey

looks like we have a clear winner :). Unless you only like strategy, in which case I’d suggest watching chess instead.
bittergradstudent on Sep 29th, 2005 at 6:43 pm

Interesting idea, sam, but I’d add hockey to the blood cateogory, and challenging to the baseball category–after all, the best of the best at the sport are the ones that succeed in hitting the ball one out of nine times (.333 average is good, with three strikes in each chance to get a hit). And though playing FIFA level soccer is clearly extremely difficult, I might ask what is the first sport that people teach children, worldwide? And don’t people have to break in their children to baseball by first having them play T-ball?
Moshe Rozali on Sep 29th, 2005 at 7:05 pm

Scott,

I agree with you on basketball and football, and in fact anything you may have to say about the pains of watching soccer, hockey, power fishing or water polo…I’m just very agreeable on these matters.
Greg A. on Sep 29th, 2005 at 7:10 pm

Go White Sox!!! That’s all I have to say. DH is fine be me…
Josh on Sep 30th, 2005 at 8:40 am

As a Cubs fan who’s having a bad week on so many levels, allow me this humble statement. Boooo Cardinals!!!! BOOOO!!!!!
Adam on Sep 30th, 2005 at 12:03 pm

Cricket>*

I watch baseball, because it’s at least a pale imitation of cricket. Alas, the Phillies, although not sucking as horribly as they often do, are likely to fail to get the NL Wildcard.

I will also take this opportunity to point out that the DH rule is evil. Evil, I say.
Philip on Oct 1st, 2005 at 12:53 pm

Tens of millions of years of evolution gave us hands with opposable thumbs, but soccer players can’t use them.

What kind of a sport is that?

Go Padres!
Pingback from It’s not over until it’s over | Cosmic Variance on Oct 18th, 2005 at 12:28 am

[...] OK. So I promised myself I would not blog about the baseball post-season play-offs (otherwise I could, and still very much run the risk, of boring you all to death). But tonight (that’s St. Louis vs Houston in the National League Championship series) was just a spectacular example of, well of so many things. Anyone who thinks baseball is not exciting (see the comments on my previous post) should have watched this game. It just doesn’t get any better than this. Of course, I can say that as my team won. I literally spent the night biting my nails, pacing the floor, and at times not even being able to watch, covering my face with my hands. [...]

Physicists Don’t Golf

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